


Maybe There Is Light

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Magic, Phanfiction, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magic was colourful. Dan didn't have magic. Dan wasn't colourful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to post this story up over the next few days. I don't know what I think of this one, but I hope you like it.

 

When Dan was five, his parents didn’t worry. Some children developed a bit slower than others, and there were still a few others in his class who had not manifested their own magic yet. It was fine, and no matter when his magic decided to show up, he was still their perfect little boy, and they just knew that when it did manifest, his magic would shine brightly.

 

When he was ten, however, and every other child his age was able to manipulate the colourful magic around them into creative and new things, Dan was hardly able to use his own to lift a pencil. And his parents, they worried. They had heard of people who didn’t have their own magic. It wasn’t common, though, and they worried how Dan would be treated by others.

 

When he was 15, and he was only just able to manipulate other people’s magic to do basic tasks, they started to stop worrying and started to accept that Dan was just the way he was. They didn’t worry. Not much, at least.

 

\----------------------

 

Dan Howell was bored. He was bored, sad and lonely, but right now he was mostly bored. At 19 years old, he was tired of being the only person his age still unable to leave home and get on with his life. Just because he didn’t have any magic of his own, his parents had decided that they wanted to keep him close, to keep an eye on him.

 

They had decided that he would stop going to school at 16 after a particular event where he had come home covered in bruises where some of the kids his age had decided that not having magic was a personal offence to them. The school didn’t do anything about it.. They didn’t care either.

 

Right now, he was sitting in his room looking through his youtube subscriptions, noticing a few of his favourite channels had new videos, he clicked through them. One of them, a girl who had never developed her own magic, talked about ways that “magically-abled” people could help “non-magically abled” people with their daily lives. Dan watched the video, frowning to himself. He didn’t like those terms. He wasn’t unable to use magic. He just… needed people to allow him to use theirs for things.

 

He clicked over to the next new upload, this time from his favourite youtuber. He was called Phil, and he had the most beautiful magic Dan had ever seen. It was the same colour as his eyes, a vibrant blue, swirled with flecks of green and the occasional yellow. Dan knew that it was rare to have magic the colour of your eyes, and it was rumoured to be lucky. Maybe that was true. Phil seemed to be lucky.

 

In his new video, Phil was talking about his latest encounter with a strange man on a train who had sat and stared at him for twenty minutes before getting up, patting Phil’s head and leaving. Dan laughed at this. He knew from previous videos that strange people seemed attracted to Phil like he was a weird magnet. Phil had told his followers at one point that his magic attracted people to him. Whether that was good or bad, well, the jury was still out on that one.

 

After watching the video, he clicked over to twitter. He noticed that he had a few notifications and clicked on them. He looked at the screen. And looked. He was clearly going insane.

 

“No way…” He clicked on the notification that he was clearly imagining and let out a quiet, slightly manic laugh.

 

_‘Hey danisnotonfire!’_ he read, _‘Cool name by the way. I would hope you’re not on fire, you seem pretty cool. Only the coolest people like Muse, you know. Sorry. I keep typing cool. Maybe coolio would be better? Anyway, I’ve seen you reply to my tweets a few times and comment on my videos too (I mean that could be your evil clone. You seem like you’d probably have an evil clone.) and I was wondering if you’d like to talk some time?’_

 

Dan was almost certain he was dead. Any second now he’d see an angel flying past his window. He tried to calm his heart that was trying to beat it’s way out of his chest, quickly clicking to reply.

 

He sat with his fingers posed over his keyboard, ready to type out a well thought out, intelligent reply.

 

_‘Oh my god hi Phil. Jesus I didn’t expect to ever have you talk to me. Wow. I don’t know what to say to that. Um. I’d love to talk sometime if you really want to. I mean. If that’s okay.’_

 

He sighed softly. “Oh yeah, Dan. Smooth.” Not for the first time in his life, Dan wished that he had been born with the magic to make poetry flow from his fingertips like his mum was. Sadly, he’d been born with the ability to be as smooth as a cactus.

 

Thinking of this, Dan felt his mood start to deteriorate again. If Phil wasn’t scared off by how stupid his message back had sounded, he would definitely stop talking to Dan when he found out he had no magic. People almost always did. They somehow thought that he was either going to steal their magic or spread his ‘non-magic cooties’ to them. Hah. There’s some people he’d happily do that to if he could.

 

He got up and walked over to his bed, throwing himself down and covering his eyes with his arm. His parents would be home soon. He should go down and get some food before they got back so he didn’t have to deal with their pity, or them treating him like some fragile, breakable creature.

 

Just as he was about to get up and head downstairs, he heard a ping from his computer.  He looked over, hope welling up in his chest. Surely not…

 

He clicked on the notification and sucked in a stuttering breath before starting to read.

 

_‘Haha, sorry about freaking you out. You do seem really cool though. I saw you don’t have any actual videos on your youtube, so I wasn’t able to see what you actually look like so you might be a 50 year old creeper with no face or something (but I hope not). Maybe we could talk on skype?’_

This was followed by Phil’s Skype name, which Dan stared at for longer than he meant to. He felt mixed emotions about this. He felt so happy that his favourite youtuber, someone who could use their magic to make friends with literally anyone, wanted to talk to him, a literal nobody who he had never met before. But… he also felt terrified. What if Phil wanted him to talk on webcam? He would see that Dan held no magic. He would probably instantly stop talking to Dan, probably block him and that would break his heart.

 

He opened up a new reply and started typing. _‘I’d love to talk to you on skype, Phil, but I should probably tell you first, I don’t have any magic. A lot of people don’t want to associate with me, so if you don’t anymore, that’s fine. Just ignore my skype request. Sorry.’_

 

He wiped at his face, not noticing that he had started to tear up at the possibility that his youtube idol would hate him. He opened up skype and sent the request before getting up and heading downstairs to make himself a sandwich. He had just arrived back at his room when he heard the front door open and his mum came in. He quickly slipped back into his room and shut the door as quietly as he could, hoping she’d not noticed he was there.

 

He sat back down in front of his computer, heart speeding up a bit when he saw that Phil had accepted his request on skype and had already sent him a message. He opened it up and read it, relief flooding through him at the words.

 

_‘Hey, Dan. You there?’_

_‘I don’t care if you don’t have magic.’_

 

Dan quickly messaged back saying he was sorry and that yes, he was there, when suddenly a ringing sound came from his speakers.

 

He clicked accept call.

 

He looked at the screen, face probably red as hell.

 

“Hey Phil.”

 

“Wow, Dan. You’re cute.”

  
He smiled. Phil smiled back.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I am not happy with this. Maybe with the end, but I am still not happy with it, but if you enjoy it, thank you. 
> 
> All the stuff about Piccadilly train station (and the taxi driver) are based on my trip to Manchester just over a month ago. That building is huge. I got lost just going to the toilets... twice. 
> 
> Also, I'm really bad at keeping a posting schedule for anything, so the next chapter will probably be out in less than 24 hours. Maybe. Less than 48 at the most. I get kinda eager.

When Dan was five, his best friend, a boy who had just manifested his magic a week beforehand had moved away with his parents. Dan was sadder than he had ever been in his short life. He missed his friend more than he missed anyone ever.

 

When Dan was ten, he was upset a lot of the time. No one wanted to be his friend and he had no one who would play video games with him. His parents had arranged a party for his birthday and only three of the children from his class had shown up. All three of them made sure to tell him that their parents had made them come. Since he didn’t have magic of his own he wasn’t worth being friends with. 

 

When Dan was fifteen, he had almost daily panic attacks before going to school. He believed that he wasn’t worthy of being friends with. He assumed he was going to be alone forever. He hated it, but he was… okay with that. Kind of. He wished he had friends, but he didn’t have magic, so he didn’t have friends.

 

When he was nineteen, he met Phil.

 

\------------

 

Dan and Phil had been talking for months. Hours at a time, almost every night. Dan was a lot happier than he had been, but he still had moments where he was terrified that Phil was going to decide that he was so much better off without Dan. That Dan was too sad and pathetic for him to waste his time on.

 

At the start of October, three months after the first time they talked on skype, they were sitting up late talking together. Dan was on his bed wrapped in his duvet and Phil was sitting on his own.

 

“Hey, uh, Dan. Are you doing anything on the 19th?”

 

Dan blinked. Phil rarely sounded nervous. “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

 

Phil laughed nervously. “Well. My mum and dad are going away for the week, and I just thought you could maybe come and stay for a few days? If you want to. You don’t have to if you don-”

 

“Phil. I would love to come stay. Jesus, you pancake. Of course I’d love to. You know I would.”

 

He let out a little huff of laughter as Phil punched the air and whooped happily.

 

“I’m really glad, Dan. I’ve wanted to meet you for months.” Phil said, looking down at his hands.

 

“Me too, Phil. Me too.”

 

\------------ Phil’s POV ------------

Phil absolutely loved Dan. He was 100% madly in love with that sad, lonely boy, and he would totally tell him, but he wanted to be there for him instead. Dan was worried that since he was unable to manifest magic, he wasn’t worthy of friends, and Phil wanted him to feel like he had someone and not feel pressurised to love Phil back. 

 

The thing is, Phil was almost certain that Dan didn’t need to worry about his ‘lack’ of magic. Phil felt like he knew there was something there about Dan. He could see it, sometimes, when he would tell Dan some stupid anecdote or another. A faint red glow would appear whenever Dan let loose with peals of laughter. Whenever he was distracted enough from things to feel happy.

 

Phil was so happy when Dan agreed to come up to Manchester and visit him, that after they had said goodnight and switched off skype, something they didn’t do every night, he picked up a notepad and pen and started making a list of things they could do together. He was going to make the days that Dan was here the best he could.

 

\------------ 

 

Two weeks later, on the 19th, Phil woke up at 6 AM, which was earlier than he’d gotten up at any point in the months since he had started talking to Dan. They had both gone to sleep early the night before so that Dan could wake up early so he would be in time for his train. He checked his phone and sent a quick text.

 

(06:02)  _ DAN!!! LESS THAN 7 HOURS!!! HURRY UP AND BE HERE _

 

He walked down the hall to the bathroom to get ready for the day, noticing how brightly his magic was glowing today. He knew that more people would be coming up to him today due to it. Hopefully no one too strange. He didn’t want Dan to be freaked out on his first day meeting Phil. Oh, well. It couldn’t be helped. He was just too happy.

 

When he got back to his room he saw that Dan had texted back.

 

(06:21)  _ lol are you excited by any chance phil?? I just woke up i finished getting my stuff ready last night cause i couldn’t sleep _

 

(6:38)  _ Bad dan you’ll be super tired today. You should sleep on the train and hope you don’t end up going too far! _

 

(6:41) _ don’t say that!! You’ll jinx me and i’ll end up in scotland or something!! _

 

Phil laughed out loud. He was going to meet Dan today. He was so happy.

 

\------------ 

 

When it was time for Phil to head to Piccadilly station, after he had taken the bus from his house into Manchester, he decided on calling for a taxi. It would cost him quite a lot but at least he’d not get stopped and make him late. That didn’t, however, stop the taxi driver talking about his trip to Ripley’s believe it or not the entire way there while playing quite cheesey 80’s ballads on the radio. Phil didn’t mind. He was in too good a mood.

 

When he got into the station, he headed straight to the boards with the arrival times on them. It took him a while, but he finally found it 12:40 from Reading Station. Possibly the most beautiful train arrival notification he had ever seen in his life.

 

He had just under fifteen minutes until the train was due to come in, so he headed over to a bench to sit down while he calmed down. He was really happy to be here right now, but boy was he ever nervous.

 

After sitting there and checking his phone every minute for what felt like two weeks, his head shot up as the announcement went off telling him the next train arriving would be the one Dan was on. 

 

He stood up, agitated that he couldn’t go onto the actual platform to get to Dan quicker. He wanted to be right there when he showed up. He wanted to hug him. So much.

 

He looked at all the people who were filing out of the doors from the platform, looking for that the most beautiful boy in the crowd, finally spotting him looking quite lost at the back. Phil waited for everyone else to disperse a bit before stepping forward and seeing Dan’s eyes light up when he spotted him.

 

Phil had no idea why he ran towards Dan. He must have scared the life out of him, but when he finally had his arms around Dan, he no longer cared. 

 

When he felt Dan put his arms around him in return, he forgot why he cared in the first place.

 

When he turned his head to nuzzle into Dan, and all he could see was a bright flare of red, he couldn’t help the giggle that escaped.

 

\------------ Dan’s POV ------------ 

 

Dan couldn’t believe it. He was hugging Phil Lester. He didn’t think he had ever been this happy, and he couldn’t help it. His eyes started to water. 

 

He heard Phil let out a quiet huff of laughter and pulled back a bit, about to ask Phil what was funny, but he looked down and caught a glimpse of his hands.

 

“Uhm… Phil.?”

 

“Yes, Dan?” Phil responded, shoulders still shaking with silent laughter.

 

Dan looked him right in the eyes, daring him to keep laughing. “Why is everything red?”

 

“Because you need to change your username.”

 

“... What?”

 

“You’re clearly on fire.”

 

At that, Dan’s eyes teared right back up, and he reached back out to Phil for another hug. “That was the worst joke you’ve ever said.”

 

Phil laughed, wrapping his arms back around Dan. “Just wait. I’m full of bad jokes.

 

Dan couldn't wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really distracted while writing this. I mean, like. I watched an entire movie with my fingers over the keys.
> 
> If you read this and liked it, thank you SO much. 
> 
> If you read it and would happily burn it like the trash it is, well, thank you too, but that's kinda mean.
> 
> I think it's trash though.
> 
> HAPPY READING.

When Dan was nineteen, he first talked to his idol, Phil Lester. His smile was more sincere than it had been in a long time.

 

When Dan was nineteen, Phil Lester asked him to meet him. He asked him to stay with him for a few days. Dan felt his heart flutter and he felt like his life was worth so much more than he had felt in years.

 

When Dan was nineteen and he got off the train in Piccadilly train station and saw Phil Lester in person for the first time, he felt happy. He felt content. He felt…

 

When Dan was nineteen and he clung onto Phil Lester as tight as he could for the first time, he felt like magic.

 

\------------

 

Dan sat across from Phil in Starbucks. He kept looking down at his own hands, his drink getting steadily colder as he ignored it in favour of sitting waiting for the shock to fade. 

 

The magic swirling around his hands was a mixture of different reds, swirls of orange and a few flashes of yellow. It looked like flames. He let out a little snort of laughter, caught Phil’s eye, both of them knowing exactly what thought was going through their heads and burst out into peals of laughter, not giving a second thought to any of the strange looks they were getting.

 

Once they had calmed down, Phil wiped at his eyes before asking “Are you gonna change your name or is it too ironic to resist?”

 

Dan looked back at his hands, smile still playing at his lips. “You know me so well. I can’t change it now.”

 

They lapsed back into comfortable silence again, Phil probably realising how much he needed to think. He felt bad about ignoring Phil, but… wow. He was 19 years old and had only just manifested his own magic. Hell, he didn’t even know what his magic was for. He just knew that it felt warm. It felt happy. He wondered.

 

He had noticed that when he had been standing at the counter ordering their drinks the flustered girl behind the till had seemed to calm down, but he had thought that maybe it was because Phil had been so polite. But maybe… 

 

Then there was the couple who had looked so angry at one another beside them. They seemed to have sorted out their differences and were holding hands across the table. God, what Dan wouldn’t do be able to just reach out and grab hold of Phil’s hand. Too bad he would never be able to.

 

At this though, Dan suddenly felt the warmth of his magic drain from him. He looked up at Phil, a look of panic in his eyes when he noticed how wide Phil’s eyes were.

 

Phil suddenly stood up, almost knocking his drink over. “Hey Dan, let’s go find something fun to do! Something happy! Right now!” He reached out and grabbed Dan’s bag, waiting for him to follow him.

 

Dan felt the warmth of his magic settle back into him along with happiness at how much Phil seemed to care.

 

\------------

 

“And then he just walked up to me and apologised for screaming like that. I mean, I didn’t mind but it was kinda strange.”

 

Dan was trying his best not to burst out laughing at the story Phil was telling him. Since they had left the train station, Phil had told him so many stories and Dan knew he was trying to keep him happy, he knew that, and it was working. I felt so happy. Every time he felt his magic flare with joy, he noticed a matching flare of magic from Phil. Every time he saw it he felt like he just wanted to kiss him. He wanted to shout out how happy he was, how much he loved this man. 

 

\------------

 

They arrived back at Phil’s house later that evening, both of them feeling giggly and warm from the taxi they had decided on getting. When they had climbed into the car the driver had seemed angry, but by the time Phil had said the address, he seemed pretty happy to chat away to them. 

 

Once Phil had shown him around the house and they had both changed into pyjamas so they could sit and watch a movie on his bed, Dan kept sneaking glances at his friend. He had so many things he wanted to say, so many things that had built up since they had started talking almost four months earlier. 

 

He sat there, trying to work up the courage to say something, but by the end of the movie, when Phil turned the tv off and turned to Dan, he hadn’t said anything. When Phil reached out and pulled him into a hug, Dan leaned into him, turning his head into Phil’s neck.

 

“Dan, I’m really glad you’re here, you know. I feel so happy with you here.”

 

Dan pulled back, not quite letting go. Scared to let go. Scared of what Phil would think of what he was about to say. 

 

“Phil, I think that’s what my magic’s doing. I think it’s making people happy. That’s probably why you’re happy I’m here. It-”

 

He was cut off by Phil’s lips pressing against his. For a few moments, he froze. What was going on? This… This was everything he wanted. Was he imagining it?

Slowly, he melted into the kiss, responding as Phil pushed him down onto the bed before pulling back.

 

“Dan, I’m happy you’re here because I’m in love with you. I have been for months. I was happy before you had your magic. I LOVE you.”

 

As Phil was saying this, Dan felt himself start to cry. He cried as he pushed himself up, cried as he launched himself at Phil and cried all over his face when he kissed him back. 

 

When they pulled apart, Phil reached out and wiped away Dan’s tears before giggling. 

 

“Don’t cry, Dan. You’ll end up not being on fire again if you get too wet.”

 

Dan shoved him away. “Oh my god that was horrible. I hate you.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

“No, I don’t, do I?”

 

They eventually went to sleep that night, curled into each other, their magics swirling together as they slept. Right before Dan fell asleep, he wondered why Phil hadn’t been surprised by his magic manifesting right there in the middle of the train station.

 

_ ‘Oh well. He’s met so many strange people. He’s probably just used to it.’  _

 

Then he looked at Phil’s sleeping face, snuggled in tighter and fell asleep.

 

\------------

 

When Phil Lester was five years old, his magic manifested when he was on a swing at the local park while his brother was sitting with some of his friends instead of keeping an eye on him like their mum had told him to. Less than two minutes later, a little girl came up to him and told him she liked how his shoes looked before pulling one off his foot and running away.

 

When Phil Lester was ten years old, he was kind of lonely. One of the boys in his class had told him that his magic was the only reason people hung out with him. He was weird, just like the people who told him weird stories in the street sometimes. He didn’t want to worry his mum or dad about what the people at school were saying, but he knew they would notice when his colour started to fade. When his magic started to weaken. When the happiness behind his eyes dulled.

 

When Phil Lester was fifteen, he had just started to become happier with himself again. He  had a few friends that he knew weren’t friends with him just because of what his magic used to be able to do. He was able to smile a lot more. His magic hadn’t come back, but he could smile and that was better than being sad.

 

When Phil Lester was nineteen, he filmed his first youtube video in black and white so that people weren’t able to tell he didn’t have colour swirling around him. When he saw the positive response to his video, he felt a slight warmth flood through him. As he uploaded more videos, he noticed his light come back. He noticed it growing as time went on.

 

When Phil Lester was was 22 years old and he first saw Dan Howell during their first skype call, he knew his magic had never shined as brightly.

  
When he first met Dan in person at Piccadilly train station, though, he knew every second he spent with this boy his magic would shine brighter than any star in any galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading. 
> 
> I know the entire fic is pretty short, but I don't do so well keeping enough focus to write long fics. 
> 
> Which is weird because 200,000 is about average for what I read.
> 
> P.S no refunds on time spent reading this.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will be up in about 12 - 24 hours, depending on how eager I get to post it.


End file.
